Trust is essential in a relationship where physical distance is a constant challenge. Is this something you built over time or did you have it from the beginning?
I feel very lucky that trust has always come easy for us. We had a long friendship before we got together 6 years ago and also faced a lot of life challenges in the beginning of our relationship. I think those things established a really safe place for both of us. You go through these things and you realize this person's got me no matter what. Distance can't touch that. It's a kind of comfort and security I've never known before.
How do you balance personal life/work life with the demands of their husband's
career?
I think it is extremely helpful having a touring background myself. It's easier to navigate something familiar rather than trying to figure this stuff out for the first time. I focus on quality over quantity when it comes to work, people, friendships. Trim the fat. This life can be very chaotic, keep it meaningful.
How do you support your husbands, both emotionally and logistically?
Logistically I handle it all and I wouldn't have it any other way. The former tour manager in me loves to plan, book, organize, research. All of it. What he finds to be stressful, I almost find therapeutic so that really works for us. Emotionally, I think it's extremely helpful to ask do you need me to just listen or do you want a solution. This lifestyle is far from normal and this helps me know how to show up for him.
The demands of the road can take a toll on both physical and mental health.
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle can be challenging with irregular schedules, lack of routine, and constant
The demands of the road can take a toll on both physical and mental health.
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle can be challenging with irregular schedules, lack of routine, and constant
I'm not sure that many people realize how hard the road can be. As I get older, I feel the consequences of touring more, both mentally and physically. We recently made the hard decision to leave LA and build a home and new life out in the high desert. It's been such a positive experience for us both. It forces you to slow down and just be still plus the beauty of this place is something I don't take for granted.
What are some of the biggest challenges you & your husband face? Such as post tour dopamine drop or dealing with time apart or pressures of the career?
The post tour dopamine drop is REAL. You go from living in this tour bubble to re-entering normal life again and sometimes that can be jarring. We allow ourselves some guilt free recovery time. Sleep in late, order the postmates, watch the bad TV. I'm very lucky that I travel with him more than not so we get to navigate it together. When I'm unable to go on a whole tour, we have a two week rule. I don't like the feeling of living life apart, it's just so much more fun when we do it together.
What do you find most rewarding about being a tour wifey?
Watching the person you love the most perform every night never gets old. I am forever in awe of his talent and presence. I'm constantly proud of the work he does both on stage and at home. He makes the hard parts of life easy. I'm a very lucky tour wifey and I look forward to seeing more of the world with him.