Diary of a Tour Wife: Leila Bolan (Skid Row)

 Trust is essential in a relationship where physical distance is a constant challenge. Is this something you built over time or did you have it from the beginning? 
In my heart, I always trusted him. It was more dealing with my own issues as far as abandonment, so it really had nothing to do with him. He wasn't doing anything wrong. Without sounding pompous or naive, he knows what we have and he wouldn’t want to lose that.  When we were finally in a committed relationship, he was older and had got the crazy stuff out of his system, so to speak. Because being big in the late 80s and 90s, you know what I mean. He was a lot younger. I ended up with him at a good stage in his life.


How do you stay balanced in your feminine when you are required to step into the masculine when he is touring?
That is a tiny bit of a challenge. Not the part where he's away touring because, like I've told you, I was a single mom, I had to be a mom and dad. I stood alone, trying to do so many things, especially keeping the household together. Independence is ingrained in me. The more challenging part is when he does come back for a few days, because I'm in my own little world and routine. I'm doing my thing, I got my things going on. And then he's back home and it takes him several days to decompress and get back to flow of normal life together. 


The demands of the road can take a toll on both physical and mental health. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle can be challenging with irregular schedules, lack of routine, and constant movement. How do you stay balanced? 


I motivate him in a lot of ways, and don't discourage him because I always try to think positive and keep a “whatever you put your mind to” attitude. He’s always achieved, so we're kind of both each other’s motivation. I’m a soundboard to him. We have a real good balance in that way. When I'm down, he's normally up so he can help pick me up to where he's at and visa versa. So we have that good balance where it's not like we're both ripping our hair out at the same time or upset. We're lucky in that way to have a balance, like that. If I need to pick him up more or if he needs to pick me up. 

What are some of the biggest challenges you & your husband face, such as post tour dopamine drop or dealing with time apart, or the pressures of your careers? 
Some people try to bring Skid Row down or think they know things about him.     It rolls off Rachel because he's unfortunately used to it. I grew up in Philly, I'm a fighter. So if you're talking shit and you don't know him, I want to fight you.          I try to not engage, but I'll fight with them in my head.

What do you find most rewarding about being a tour wifey?
I'm just so proud of him. I'm really proud that he achieved his success at a time where there wasn't YouTube, there wasn't social media where you could get your stuff out. He tells me stories about knocking on doors and waiting in lobbies of record labels to try to get anyone to listen by handing out tapes and hustling to try to and make it. It's not like it is now where you could almost be a celebrity for just having a lot of Instagram followers. I have lots of respect for his work ethic and drive. He's gone from stadiums all the way down to small clubs to working his way back up. He could’ve stopped, but he didn’t. He was building back up the brand and such and he's very, very smart. He's very talented and I admire that. 

  


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